


Lara Johnson - Backstory

by AgataVarano



Series: Scar [1]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Backstory, Domestic Violence, Drug Abuse, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Murder, Self-Sacrifice, Suicide Attempt, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25210324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgataVarano/pseuds/AgataVarano
Summary: Does it hurt more to never know happiness or to have it taken away from you? According to Lara Johnson, it ends in a draw. But maybe there's still a chance for her to be something better and leave her past behind.
Relationships: Stephen Strange & Original Female Character(s)
Series: Scar [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1826437
Kudos: 3





	Lara Johnson - Backstory

**Author's Note:**

> • English is not my first language, so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes.  
> • You can find this and more fics on my Tumblr @/let-me-write-my-life and my Instagram @/agata_varano.

_Try to tear us apart but know that we'll wear our scars. - I Prevail (Scars)_

In 1982 Alan Brown, a brilliant scientist from the suburbs of Boston, published some revolutionary studies about an unknown substance he had discovered and worked on for a couple of years. This substance, which he planned on calling after himself, seemed to have the ability to manipulate matter and was originated from a parallel dimension unknown to anyone else.

Despite the great value of his work, no one seemed interested in financing his studies, until Mark Feige offered him fifty million dollars to work with his team of scientists. Just before signing a contract with the man, Brown realized his discovery was not only revolutionary but also extremely dangerous. He understood having so much power over the structure of the universe itself was too great risk, so he left the country after burning down all his work.

Unfortunately for him, Mark Feige, businessman and head of one of the greatest terrorist organisations in the world, the Agency X, wasn't used to be denied something. His men found Brown even before he left Massachusetts, killed him and stole the last piece of unknown substance existing: a piece that was no bigger than an almond and that Brown had foolishly decided not to destroy. After naming it Substance Y, Feige used it to bring all of Brown's works back to reality. For the following year, scientists from all over the world were hired by Feige to study the Substance Y in hope to use it on his agents and get some sort of advantage on S.H.I.E.L.D, Feige's greatest enemy.

In 1983 Sean Ward and Emily Clarke got to lead the newborn Project 58 after they discovered Substance Y's radiation could be used on people not only to make them physically and mentally stronger, but also to give them powers such as matter manipulation, creation and destruction. It looked like Substance Y wasn't affected by any Physics or Chemistry law.  
Tests on humans started in 1984 thanks to two volunteers, Abraham and Sandra Houghton. In less than a hour, they both became stronger than any other man or woman alive. But everything comes with a price. Abraham developed several anxiety problems and Sandra went crazy with power. Knowing she and her husband were the first enhanced humans after the well-known super soldier made her feel invincible. She forced Feige to test the Substance on children too and promised to give the scientists a child to work on.

Sandra's plan were ruined by some repeated attacks by some rival organisations, which led to a one-year gap before her son Jonathan Houghton and his little sister Lara, who wasn't even born yet, became the first children to be experimented on with the Substance Y. Forced out of her mother's belly when she was no more than a fetus, Lara was exposed to an insane amount of radiation and kept alive in an artificial machine.

When she was born on 10th November 1986, Sandra was informed Lara had not passed the tests that were supposed to confirm the effectiveness of the scientists' work. Considered by everyone just a failed experiment, the little child was given up for adoption and adopted by her parents' neighbours, Robyn and Ashley Johnson.  
Robyn, a chef in a little restaurant in the centre of the city, and Ashley, employee of a bank not far from her husband's workplace, knew nothing about the baby's already tragic past, but still decided to leave their hometown in favour of New York City, where the two had found a better job not a lot of time before.

The Big Apple got to see Lara growing up in a happy and supportive family, completely unaware of her origin. She was just like every normal girl, with a great passion for science and martial arts, until everything scientists believed about her turned out being wrong. She was only fifteen when she casually found out she had inhuman abilities on the control of matter. Scared and horrified by her newfound powers, she hid them from everyone, starting from her own family, in a desperate attempt to forget about them, to get rid of them by simply ignoring them.  
Constantly living in fear of being discovered, Lara developed several anxiety issues which led in high school to repeated bullying. No one, not even the leader of the bullies group Nick Millain and his sidekick Jonas Feige, could imagine the girl they were always making fun of was actually stronger than all of them combined. Years passed, Lara went to college to study chemistry hoping to become a researcher, still haunted by her hidden powers and her bullies.

Everything changed one day when Nick and Jonas assaulted Lara, pulling her hair and making fun of her. Alone in the school library with her assailants, Lara tried to push them away but accidentally knocked Jonas out with her powers. Nick stepped away with a scream, calling her a monster and saying he would inform the police about her actions. Devoured by rage, Lara punched him in the face and threatened to kill him and his friend if any of them had ever told anyone about that afternoon.

The following day Jonas disappeared. Some people said he had joined a gang in the suburbs of the city, others said he had simply quit school. Nick, on the other hand, moved to another city, finally leaving Lara alone. Those events convinced Lara even more that she couldn't control her powers and made her decide to hide them even better, controlling all her emotions to avoid instinctive reactions.

When Lara brilliantly got a degree, she accepted to work for the Stark Industries. She hated that job and she found her boss rather annoying, even though she rarely saw him, but she needed money to pursue her studies.

One day, while Tony Stark was visiting her laboratory, he saw a purple aura around her fingers. Curious to find more about it, he called her in his office and interrogated her until she admitted the truth. Tony then did something that would completely change Lara's life. He proposed her to become some sort of testimonial for the Stark Industries, using her powers to promote his company. Insulted by his proposal, Lara refused, but Tony went on trying to convince her for weeks, months, until Lara came to hate him more than her own curse.

Lara came to the conclusion she couldn't go on like that, she needed to stop Tony's annoying behaviour. She met him in an isolated place and threatened him with her powers, but lost control of them and almost killed him. The destructive magic she had hidden for too long took over her and destroyed her face, leaving deep and painful scars and making her faint. Tony ran away, believing her dead.

None of them knew that someone was spying them. Frank Linch, trainer for the Agency X, recognized in Lara the signs of the old Project 58 and brought her unconscious body to his hidden basement away from the city.

When Lara woke up, he offered her to train her and give her a work for the Agency X. Lara had no other choice: going back to her family would have meant being arrested for attempted murder. She accepted, but asked Frank to inform her parents and tell them she was doing some stage for the Stark Industries. Frank never actually told Lara's parents anything, afraid Tony would find her or someone would take Lara away from him.  
Lara's training with Frank was one of the worst and most useless things had Lara ever experienced, forced to work all day long with someone who knew nothing about her powers. Furthermore Frank took advantage of her over and over, abusing her for a whole year until she found out the truth.

Discovering she was missing, Lara got mad at Frank and when he tried to attack her she took one of his eyes out of the socket with her powers, before running away.

Back in New York, Lara was told her parents had gone missing as well and the police had found evidences of their death. Blamed by everyone, including herself, for what had happened, Lara mourned her family for a long time before realizing she couldn't go back to her past life. It was 2010, Tony had just defeated Ivan Vanko and Justin Hammer, her parents were dead and she had no one to go to.

After deciding to give up her powers forever, Lara covered her scars in any way she knew, created herself a new identity and joined the Agency X as a normal agent.

Amanda Ross, the woman she had become, proved herself stronger and smarter than most of her colleagues, becoming one of the best agents in her department. She met Elize Shinn, daughter of the Head of Department. Elize had been forced to work for the Agency by her father, but lacked every skill needed. She was too soft and kind to kill, she didn't have the need to get revenge that her father admired in Lara.

Despite their huge differences, the two women became great friends and Lara even confessed her who she really was and what had happened to her. After hearing her story, Elize tried to convince Lara to quit the Agency before it was too late. "You're more than some killing machine, Lara. I believe you have, deep in your heart, the ability to do beautiful things for this world."

One day during a mission, an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D tried to shoot Lara, but Elize took the bullet for her. The hit was, unfortunately, lethal and Lara could do nothing but see her friend bleed out in front of her, blood soaking her trousers as she knelt next to her. Elize's father didn't cry a single tear for his daughter, who had proved herself unable to meet his standard of perfection long before.

It was Lara who cried all the tears the cold hearted man had denied Elize. She refused to do anything for days, feeling like she had stolen the life from someone who deserved it much more. She took the blame for what had happened and was haunted for months by her friend's ghost.

Her heart seemed to heal when she met Alex Main, a kind young agent who worked in her same department. She fell completely for him and was blinded by what looked like the most heavenly love she had ever felt. But Heaven's not on Earth and Lara would soon learn it.

After a period of time in which Alex had been no less than an angel, he showed his true self. It all started with sporadic insults, evil comments, exaggerated jealousy, verbal abuse, possessiveness. It ended with repeated torture, daily violence, hate sold as love and death masked as life.

Alex's violence tasted of cocaine and alcohol, blood and spit. Lara couldn't go anywhere without Alex, not even on missions. Smiling at any other man meant having her face crashed against the sink over and over. Complaining was always followed by knife cuts, sometimes light stabbing. Rape and torture became Lara's closest friends. And she prayed, she prayed to die more than once, but Alex seemed to only get entertainment from dragging her to the edge and then leaving her there, broken and torn apart.

It was not like she couldn't see what their relationship had become. She knew that wasn't supposed to be love, she knew that wasn't supposed to be okay. But she was afraid. She was afraid no one would listen to her if she spoke, she was afraid people would come after her. As time went on, a devilish voice inside her head made her believe she deserved it, she was paying for her sins.

Elize's words and her attempts to redeem Lara dried, strangled by Alex's sick conception of love in the same way as he did with his girlfriend's throat almost every night. And Lara became angrier, full of a rage she couldn't use against her executioner. All the hate she couldn't set free in the hell she lived in, she channelled it into crueler and crueler ways to kill and torture rival agents, sickenly eager to feel the way Alex felt every day with her.

All until one day during a mission Alex decided his human toy wasn't worth his attention anymore because he had found a better one. And what better way to get rid of an old object than to burn it down? He locked Lara in an empty office in the basement of a S.H.I.E.L.D base and set to whole building on fire, leaving with his new oblivious victim. When Lara understood what was happening, she felt the last pieces of her heart somehow breaking again and piercing through her flesh. With an inhuman effort, she escaped, although physically and mentally hurt.

Aware of all the pain the Agency X had brought her in just five years, she stole a car and moved to a cheap motel near Philadelphia. Desperate and alone, Lara had a violent breakdown. She screamed, cried and hurt herself over and over, until she reached for the mirror and threw it to the ground. Holding its sharp pieces in one hand, she decided to end the torture her life had become. She covered her arms, face, legs in deep cuts, her face stained with tears and her body with blood. When she closed her eyes, she hoped not to open them anymore. The light of midday woke her the following day and made her realise she was not only alive, but also that her wounds had been closed by some obscure force, probably her own powers.

For the following two years she lived dozens of lives all across the USA, all different but all characterized by one common event: attempted suicide. Lara didn't want to live, she hated herself so much that she couldn't stand to look at herself in the mirror, but somehow she always survived. There was always something, someone to drag her away from the edge, as if not even death wanted her. She tried to shut her conscience down, drinking until she passed out, getting high on the worst things, cutting her skin to pass time. Anxiety and panic attacks became more and more frequent, almost normal.

In 2017 she went back to New York and, since she missed working as a chemist, she found a part time job in a lab. There she met Alissa Ibberson, smart and extrovert woman who made it her mission to become friend with Lara, even though her colleague had pushed her away every single time.

Alissa wanted to find more about Lara, about her past and the reasons why she was the way she was, but she wasn't the only one interested in her. When she found out a little too much, she got to meet a team of agents from the Agency X, who forced her to give them Lara's location and then killed her, making it look like a suicide.

Alissa was pushed on the train rails right in front of Lara, who recognized the man who had done that terrible gesture: Frank Linch. As she ran after him, Lara was stopped by Ben, Alissa's brother, who accused her of being the cause of his sister's death because of her behaviour. Lara tried to defend herself, trying to explain to the policemen she had nothing to do with it, but Ben attacked her.  
And it happened. She instinctively reacted by pushing him away with her powers. In less than a minute, she had five guns pointed to her head, people all around her murmuring and whispering insults, Ben still screaming nonsensical words at her.

But she didn't want it to end like that. It wasn't her fault for what had happened. She attacked the police with her powers, hoping to escape and finally be able to find Frank. It quickly turned into a fight.

She fought like a scared animal, who attacks because it's afraid of being killed. Furthermore Lara had no idea what she was doing: she tried to push someone out of her way but she involuntarily threw him meters away, she tried to stop the fire she had caused but it only became bigger. It was her against herself against the police.

The mess she was creating didn't go unnoticed. Lara was just about to leave when she was thrown to the ground by some golden, sparkly spell she had never seen before. When she sat up looking for whoever had cast the unknown spell, she saw a tall dark haired man walking towards her with golden circles around his clenched fists.  
She quickly got up and tried to shoot fire at him, but he stopped her attack easily.

"Who are you?" The sorcerer asked after temporarily immobilizing her hands.

She threw him a deadly gaze. "That's none of your business," she spit out angrily before pulling a knee to his shin.

Freed from his spell, Lara had to face another sorcerer, shorter than the first one and with shorter hair. Fighting such powerful wizards for a long time without even knowing what she was doing was hard, but it was even harder trying not to kill anyone in the process.

Lara stared at the Asian sorcerer with terror in her eyes when she involuntarily threw him against a window and fear took the place of blood in her veins when her attempt to push a policeman away made the ground under him open in a huge hole. Stepping back, she tried to run away but was stopped once again by the tall man.

"Let me go, you idiot," she screamed against the chains he had conjured. "I'll… I'll kill if you don't." She tried to steady her voice in a futile attempt to sound confident.

"Not until you've told me who you are and what you want." He got no response but some grunts as Lara tried to fight his spell. "You can try as hard as you want, you can't fight magic that way."

Lara raised her eyes to him and clenched her teeth. "With you, it worked just fine." She threw a quick glance to the her surroundings. "But I can arrange something," she added before pushing the man against a wall and making a building fall on him. As soon as she was free, she ran away towards Frank's house.

L

The small building was north of the Bronx, the dark wooden door wide open. Lara stepped into the living room, the tile floor covered in dirt and garbage. She carefully avoided a can of beer, then a syringe, clothes covered in food and blood stains, balls of paper everywhere. The woman moved across the house, inspecting every room, every corner, but finding no one, nothing but chaos. Exiting in the backyard, Lara leaned with her ear against the broken door of the small tool shed between the barbecue and the dried hedge. Slowly stepping in, Lara found herself surrounded by gardening tools and nothing more. The floor creaked under her weight as she looked around herself. She hissed in pain when her foot met the sharpness of a piece of metal, hidden between floorboards. Hesitantly reaching for what seemed to be a handle, Lara opened a manhole she had never seen before and carefully went down the ladder.

The room she entered was little and smelt of rotten meat. When she turned on the neon lights on the ceiling, they emitted a wobbly light, their noises as loud as her steps on the broken tiles. She looked around herself, wondering where she was. Moving her hand on they greyish counter, she found her fingers covered in dust.

Then her eyes were caught by a big wardrobe-like freezer, the white iron doors stained with what Lara wanted to believe was just red dye. She barely touched the cold handle, curious yet scared of what a psychopath like Frank could ever side in such a place. The moment she opened the doors, a scream came from behind her.

Lara couldn't believe her eyes. The light coloured doors hid two frozen and unstably placed bodies that not only fell down on the woman, but were also easily recognizable. They were her parents. The two bodies tortured and mishandled belonged to the people Lara had never stopped mourning, to the people she had loved more than anyone else.

"I- I can explain." The voice behind her had never been so obnoxious to her ear.

Holding back tears she got up and stepped towards the man, towards Frank. "So it was you all along." She was trying to calm down, to stop her magic from taking over again.

"They were in our way, I- I couldn't just go and tell them you had joined a terrorist organisation. I did it for you," he stuttered, slowly stepping back.

Lara clenched her jaw, shooting daggers at him with her eyes. "You did it for me? You DID IT FOR ME?" She screamed, clenching her fists by her sides. "You killed them, you killed my family and I took the blame for it. I blamed myself for what you had done." She was tearing up, tears filling her eyes, ready to burst out. "You'll pay for it," she said, her voice just above a whisper.

Her hands freed a purple energy, some sort of magic that slowly, so slowly began devouring Frank's skin. Centimetre after centimetre, his body was destroyed by fire, ice, acid, iron and everything Lara's rage could conjure. The room was filled with screams and crying, blood covering the floor and staining the woman's boots. She hurt him and she medicated him just to torture him longer, more harshly.

She finally took Frank's life only after almost an hour, letting his dead body fall on the floor, as destroyed and torn apart as her inner self. Having lost control of her powers, she let magic destroy the room around her slowly but tirelessly.

Stepping back, she let out a scream before kneeling on the ground, tears streaming down her face. The foundation that had covered her skin dripped down her cheeks, revealing the bloody mess her face had become. Anger and sadness melt in a desperate, ugly cry, occasionally interrupted by screams and death begs.

"What happened?" An uncertain voice echoed in the destroyed room.

Lara looked up from the floor to meet the sight of the tall sorcerer she had met at the train station. Breathing heavily, she didn't dare looking at him in the face. "I thought you were dead."

The man slowly stepped towards her, who instinctively got up like an animal surprised by a predator while it was laying under the sunlight.

"I could help you," he said calmly.

"I don't need your help." Her voice trembled. "You can't take this away from me," she added, "no one can."

The sorcerer's eyes darted to her fingers, that were now covered by a weak purple aura. Everything happened fast. Lara tried to use her powers to cut her chest open, but the man stopped her and immobilized her to the floor with his magic and his body.

"What the f*ck do you want from me?" She screamed at him, trying in vain to move the sorcerer from on top of her and free her hands from his tight grip.

"Now you listen to me," he said, completely ignoring her question. "Why didn't you kill me?"

Lara shrugged. "Do I look like someone who knows what she's doing?"

The man sighed. "You stopped that building from collapsing on me. You could've killed me but you didn't. There must be a reason why."

"I wouldn't trust her too much if I were you, wizard. You'll end up just like her friend over there." The deep voice of a man drew the two's attention to the other side of the room. An agent was standing there with a gun pointed to the sorcerer's head, surrounded by other four people.

The sorcerer stood up as golden circles formed around his hands. "Do I know you?"

The agent smirked. "No, but she does." He threw a glance at the bloody mass that once was Frank and then turned to Lara. "You better come with us if you don't want us to get rid of you and your friend."

Lara got up, looking attentively at the agents forming a circle around them. "Kill me then."

A blonde woman attacked Lara with a knife, but she punched her in the face and pulled a knee to her stomach. She nudged the following agent, before another one wrapped his arms around her from behind, immobilizing her. She headed him and turned to face him, punching him on the jaw. When he tried to punch her back, she stopped his hit and turned his arm around just enough to earn a suffocated scream of pain from him. Looking behind herself, she found the other agents had disappeared. She heard a hiss and turned just in time to see the guys she had fought falling down golden portals.

"I took the liberty of sending them to the closest police station," the sorcerer commented.

She nodded not convinced. Looking just beyond where the agents had been, Lara met the sight of the two very well-known corpses and felt tears coming to her eyes again. "Whatever. You're the sorcerer, not me." Her voice cracked for the first time, but she didn't dare admitting it.

The cold air coming through the open manhole sent shivers down her spine, her dark shirt not warm enough to protect her from the cold of the incoming winter. She took a deep breath and brought her hand to her mouth, trying harder and harder not to cry, not again, not in front of a total stranger.

"I'm sorry." The sorcerer whispered, getting closer but not too much.

Lara blessed the distance between them that wasn't allowing him to see her tears. "It's okay, I'm- I'm used to it," she answered, her voice rougher than usual.

"You don't deserve to."

Those words hit Lara like daggers. She suddenly turned, clenching her fists hard enough to feel her nails digging in her palms. "How are so sure?" She screamed, completely ignoring the fact that she was destroying all her attempts to mask her sadness. "You have no idea what I've done 'cause if you did, you wouldn't be here with me." She buried her hands in her hair. "My parents are dead because of me, as well as hundreds of other people, and you act like you know how it feels, but you really don't." She took a deep breath. "Or at least I hope so," she concluded, her sad tone cracked by an incoming rave of emotions.

The man let out a breath before crossing his arms on his chest. "And that's where you're wrong. I perfectly know how it feels not being able to cope with losses and taking the blame for what you can't control."

Lara breathed out a laugh at the impossibility of what he had just said. He didn't look like the type of person who had done a lot of things to be guilty of. "Listen, it was kind of you coming here and pretending you actually cared about a total stranger, but now you better go." She crossed her arms on her chest. "Unless you want to end up like any of these people, of course."

"And what if I wanted to help you?"

She threw him a confused look. "I'm sorry?"

He stepped closer to her. "You heard me. You're obviously not okay and you have obviously no control over whatever your powers are."

She sighed. "And how are you going to explain the police you want to be my therapist, mister-?"

He was fast to reply. "Doctor Stephen Strange, and you don't have to worry about that. Do you want me to help you or not?"

She stared at him for a second, examining his face. Was his offer too good to be true? Probably, but his blind confidence in his abilities made it convincing. What other choices did she have? Waiting for a bunch of incompetent agents to kill her in her sleep and throw her body in the nearest river? She didn't want it to end like that. She wouldn't have allowed it.

She shrugged. "I seriously doubt it'll work, but okay, if it makes you sleep better."

She looked for a moment away from him, unsure whether she should tell him her real name or not. Go on pretending or give up the role she had played for too long? Could she trust him with her name, something she had hid from everyone for years, desperately trying to bury a life that she herself had destroyed?

"I'm Lara Johnson," she finally said, deciding to shut down the devilish voices in her mind for once.


End file.
